Not to get all religious on you guys again, but if you crack open your King James to the book of Matthew chapter 6 verse 7, it reads: "But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do]: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking." Basically in this passage God is telling us, not to be all chanty and repetitive when you ask for something because sometimes, less is more...On this day, January 31st of 2011, the vanity of thy prayers hath been forgiven! Hallelujah brothers and sisters! It's amazing how you can pray day and night to the football gods (ha ha yeah, it's a sports take), and your prayers are generally unacknowledged. I'm going to go ahead and assume that God is a pretty busy cat, and that a bunch of grown men making millions of dollars to play a game doesn't top his to do list. On top of that, I see T-shirts everywhere all the time that say God is a Patriots fan to begin with, so this principle especially applies to the Bengals, a team the Lord has long forgotten about. He made his way down His list today and threw us a bone! I think it's pretty clear by now that if baby Jesus didn't have a hand in this, then someone pretty important must have read my "State of the Bengals Address" last week right here on TroxTalk! You're welcome. In case you have no clue what I'm referring to, Cincinnati Bengals offensive coordinator, Bob Bratkowski was fired today. It took a lot of faith and asking on our part..but the Brat is finally out.
Da Brat, on the other hand, has been out since May 27th 2010. zing.
My sources at ESPN tell me that Bob is a huge doucher who resembles a more surly version of Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce from the hit TV series M*A*S*H*
Alan Alda is an atheist. He prays to no one. Vainly or otherwise.
As the fortunes of a Cincinnati sports fan have seemed to go of late, it wouldn't surprise me at all if they somehow managed to bring in someone even worse to replace Bratkowski, but at least we'll have a reason to keep us all from running out and getting L.A. Galaxy jerseys for at least the next couple of months. Just in case we end up with Brad Childress, I'll ahead and let you know that David Beckham is #23 and his wife was a spice girl.. There, now you have the L.A.Galaxy fan knowledge equivalent of the average Bengal fan at PBS for a home game. You'll fit right in!
Side note: I was at the Bengals playoff game when they lost to the Jets last year. There was a "fan" in front of us about 20 rows up on the 50 yard line wearing a misprinted Kinta jersey with the gall to tell us we were being too loud! Too loud? It's 3rd and 11, and we are on DEFENSE! We're the 12th man!! TOO LOUD?! Kill yourself. To this day I wonder if that game would have turned out the same if that assclown would have cheered for his team just a little. Or if he even knows that crowd noise can effect the opposing quarterbacks cadence..Or if he even knows what cadence is..
Not Chilly Chilly
Ever since I was a child, I have never been able to fully wrap my head around this song...What's it about? How can such universal jubilation be achieved in a community? I just never got it...Today, I believe I am starting to understand exactly where these guys are coming from.....
This is the first thing the Bengals have done so far this offseason to give me a reason to keep believing.. Hopefully, Carson Palmer and Cedric Benson will reconsider wanting to high-tail it out of town now that their nemesis has been slain. Now all the Bengals have to do to have a winning season next year is EVERYTHING ELSE! I will keep my hands folded, my eyes closed, and my heart open. And hey, even if the Bengals don't improve because of this, at least Trox Talk will get a few more hits from all the Westboro Baptist kooks googlin' Bible verses later. WHO DEY!! Next time: SuperBowl and HateCrow.
Warmest Regards....I mean...Amen,
Trox
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