Happy Independence Day!

Happy 4th of July!

I purposely planned for my move to Brazil to occur after the 4th of July so I could spend Independence Day here in the United States.

Marrying out (multicultural relationships)

I wrote a post recently about multiculturalism and mentioned that I had contributed to an article that was going to be published about Latinas marrying Non-Latinos. Now, while I'm not a Latina, and my husband IS a Latino, you may think that this does not include us, but in a way it does. We are in an interethnic and multicultural relationship (marriage). Consequently, the author of the article was interested in hearing my voice in regards to the issue of "marrying out" and included my input when publishing the article on NewLatina.net. 


I believe the article is interesting and informative, giving the viewpoints of people in multicultural relationships, and I think everyone should check it out (especially if you're in such a relationship). It's refreshing to read about the similarities that we have, regardless of our race, ethnicity, culture, or religion. And as the article states, "One thing is for sure:  our innate tendency is to move towards where the heart feels content, excited and peaceful…"


The article can be found at: Marrying Out: Why Latinas are Marrying Non-Latinos
Source: NewLatina (written by Angelica Perez-Litwin, PhD)

Thanks for visiting my blog and checking out the above links. as well as supporting communities like NewLatina and Multicultural Familia.


Take care,

My multicultural family

Our wedding day

I have a small multicultural family. Just me and my husband. Nevertheless, we are a multicultural unit. By "multi" + cultured I mean that we each have more than one culture. I'm an American of European descent. E is a Brazilian who is Native American and European. My native language is English and E's is of course Portuguese. We eat different foods, we grew up listening to music that the other had never heard of, and watching TV shows that the other will never get a chance to watch. Our traditions are diverse, our customs, our physical appearances, our likes and dislikes. And I know that E comes from an Amazonian (Brazilian) culture where my northeastern upbringing has greatly influenced the person that I am today. Neither of us had ever truly experienced the culture of the other and probably didn't really understand one another until we first slept in each other's childhood homes.

I got to thinking about multicultural relationships recently as I was introduced to New Latina, "a personal growth and lifestyle on-line magazine for women" by a good friend of mine from college. I realize that I am not a Latina, but I was asked by the founding editor and publisher to contribute to an article that she was writing about bicultural relationships (with a focus on Latinas and their "gringo" partners). I was asked a few questions via e-mail about my relationship and this started the ball rolling...in my head....and I started to think about this "bi/multi cultural" relationship/marriage that I'm a part of. And then, much like me, I started to read and read and read about other people's experiences and find it all so fascinating. 

By the way, once the article is published, I'll post the link here for everyone to read. I'm so proud.

Anyway, back to thinking about multiculturalism and how it's a part of my life....you know I realize that my husband is from a different culture than me, but yet it's not something that I dwell on. Hence, out of sight, out of mind. Wait, that doesn't make sense because it's not out of sight. But it is almost out of mind. I mean, I don't have daily thoughts about the fact that I'm living with someone who is not "culturally" like me. I'm just so used to E. Oh yeah, and did I mention that my mom told me last year that she thinks I'd be "bored if I had married an American"? Interesting.

What I want to say is that I don't feel huge cultural differences between my husband and me. Maybe it's because we met in Brazil so everyone was unlike me during the beginning - the foundation - of our relationship. I was used to being with someone who did not share the same customs as me, someone who didn't speak my language. Therefore, when we moved to the U.S. everything in our relationship seemed to me to be "normal". Plus, I'd dated foreigners in the past so I wasn't necessarily used to dating Americans. I didn't feel I was missing anything by not dating one. I actually noticed our cultural differences most when we went to New York to visit my family and stay with them for 2 weeks, especially when my mom whispered to ask me why my husbandbread for breakfast. But what is funny is that on our subsequent trips to NY there was more bread in my parent's house and yet my husband had picked up the habit of eating oatmeal for breakfast. I loved it!

Although after more than 6 years together we still are learning from each other and dealing with cultural differences, we're also used to being in a marriage with someone who is very unlike us in many ways, and I'd say, deal with it pretty well. I believe that living in each other's country has helped us better adapt, as well as having an open mind and an adventurous spirit. Oh yeah, and loving each other despite our differences. Isn't that the fun part anyway?

The World's Coolest Nationalities

The U.S. was ranked at # 5 and Brazil at # 1. I guess I'm in the right places.

The World's Coolest Nationalities: Where do you rank?

Americans

Brazilians

Christmas on Both Sides of the Equator

Different cultures means different celebrations. Even Christmas. Or 'Natal' as they say it in Portuguese. As I grew up in New York state, Christmas to me means snow, freezing temperatures, FAMILY, presents, a Christmas cake for Jesus on the morning of the 25th, sledding (at least for my older sister), stockings, Christmas movies, a warm house, and a general relaxing festive atmosphere. Since I didn't give it much thought, I just figured that everyone else had the same Christmas experience as me. I was wrong. I discovered this when I first went abroad at the age of 17 (Bolivia 1999). That was a learning experience for me because I went to midnight mass on the 24th and then celebrated the holiday with my Bolivian "family" at an aunt and uncle's house afterwards.  Christmas was a 6-hour holiday, from 9 p.m. on the 24th to 3 a.m. the next morning. Then it was over. No Santa. Some presents. Definitely no snow. December in South America means summer so the weather was hot. Not what I was used to growing up in upstate New York.

Needless to say, I knew what to expect when I spent Christmas 2004 in (Manaus) Brazil. Christmas would be HOT and it would probably be celebrated on the 24th. I spent that holiday season with E since we had just started dating the month before; we've now spent every Christmas together since then with the exception of 2006 since he was preparing to emigrate here. Our individual expectations of the holiday can be summed up in these two pictures.

On the left we see the Christmas of my childhood, and on the right we see a typical situation in a tropical country like Brazil (the picture was taken there). Now where would Santa Claus feel more at home?

E's Christmas may not seem too different from mine from the outside, but when you experience it first hand, you feel the unfamiliarity in Brazil's celebration of the holiday. I am expected to not only dress up, but to wear new clothes. I am also expected to wait until midnight to have dinner. I get that the 25th is really Christmas, but why start the festivities on the 24th (which they consider to be Christmas) and then wait to eat until the 25th? Dinner is delicious, but is it really worth the wait? Brazilian children do get to open their presents on what we consider to be Christmas Eve; I'm sure American children would love that. Basically, the celebration begins on our Christmas Eve and lasts late into the morning on the 25th. Why not, the 25th is not really Christmas in Brazil anyway.

Unless we are in Brazil or with my family, we have worked out a way to celebrate on Christmas Eve (for E) and Christmas Day (for me). Seems to work out. I believe that we will forever do this. I don't think I can ever give up my Christmas Day present unwrapping (with maybe a trip to church), and a lunch on the 25th. I also don't see E envisioning Christmas as any other day than the 24th and wearing new clothes on that day is important to him. But we can do this. A bicultural relationship means compromises and bicultural celebrations. I know that as far as I'm concerned....I'll always be dreaming of a white Christmas.