Do you want a doorman? Think twice.

When I first moved to Brasilia I thought that having a doorman was, well, awesome. I had never had one before nor do I know anyone who has ever even mentioned having one. The only doormen that I'd ever seen before were those along the streets of New York City; in front of the expensive apartments/condos near Central Park. 


In Orlando we lived in a gated community, but that's definitely not the same thing. That was to provide us with security (even though 4-5 cars could sneak in before the gate closed). Honestly there wasn't much security there.


Now fast forward to my arrival in Brasilia where I have a doorman (I've seen 4 since we've arrived but it appears that there are 3 regulars). At first I LOVED it. I thought it was great that I receive a phone call when a new visitor arrives and then I can just request to have them sent up, or ask that they meet me downstairs. It's quite convenient to not ever have to carry my keys in hand when I get home because the doorman will just buzz me in. 


I thought how wonderful that I live in a safe apartment, a(n) (upper) middle class neighborhood where every building has a doorman. During our first couple days when we had questions about shops, about how things worked, etc. all we had to do was ask our over zealous next door neighbors or the doorman. Surely they knew everything since they'd been living or working in our neighborhood for sometime.


But that was when I realized that I may not be so sure if  I'm comfortable with having a doorman that surely does know everything about everyone. By the end of our first week the doorman had asked about "the famous Sebastian [the cat]" and that made me realize that people talk. One day the doorman (the man who works all day and even on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays) told me who my mail was from even when there wasn't a return label. I don't know if he's just observant or if he's nosy. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. I can't tell yet.


It seems that he knows too much about our lives; and when I say "our" I don't just mean E and me. The doormen know when people leave, with whom they leave, what time they return home, visitors that stop by, and how long the visitors are there for. This is too impersonal for me. I feel like I don't have that much privacy. In addition, I have neighbors that do not necessarily mind only their business. But that seems to be a cultural issue. My husband talks loud, as do many Brazilians, and one day our neighbor asked him when passing him in the hallway if that was him speaking loudly that one day. I don't like that. 


And so I conclude....having a doorman may give added security, it may be convenient, and the one doorman (who works every other night?) is really friendly and nice. Maybe the apartment is too small for him not to know our business, especially with my elderly neighbor talking up everyone in the building, and even the cat. I just feel like he knows too much and I don't like it. Maybe it's just that I'm American and used to my privacy and I love that I lived for four years in two different areas in Central Florida and I didn't know any of my neighbors; I never even spoke with them. I was not interested and that's that. Or maybe I'm being paranoid because people are a lot more in your business  social in Brazil than they are in the US. Who knows...

Fitness, Buddha, and Mexican

I've been feeling like I need to not only update my blog, but to write more about my daily or weekly activities in this city - to give insight into my life in Brasilia. People always enjoy "seeing" the city where you live through your eyes and not what the travel books and/or Wikipedia write about a particular destination is like. I receive a lot of comments on Facebook whenever I take pictures like these. I'm going to try and add a more personal touch to my posts, as well as pictures that I've taken. I'll start with this post, with this weekend.


Yesterday morning E and I went to Brasilia Capital Fitness at the Convention Center in downtown Brasilia so that E could check out the "fitness scene" in the city and try to get some free samples. We really didn't succeed at either objective. This event was planned, as far as I could tell, to promote local gyms; to sell fitness equipment, workout clothes, supplements, books, and anything related to working out. There were also classes that you could participate in (or "try out" I'd say). These included spinning, a kind of step aerobics, kickboxing, and there were treadmills with people running (maybe some kind of competition?).  They did look like fun, especially the kickboxing class, but I was not dressed for the occasion and I wouldn't have felt comfortable joining by myself. The day before I had gone to a local gym in my neighborhood to get information about joining so I'm preparing to return to working out (and am happy about it). So I was kind of in the fitness mood when we went to the even yesterday.


One thing I noticed were the women's clothes. There was not ONE woman who was NOT wearing tight (in most cases FUGLY) work out pants. I'm talking spandex. And on top of that, most of them wore the 80s type scrunchy socks, but in this case (in this city) they pull them up to their knees. Very very 80s. And when I talk about the colors on the spandex pants, I mean, really ugly patterns with loud colors. Some women even had one piece workout body suits on, with cleavages and camel toes to boot. Holy culture shock! 

E wasn't impressed with the event and found the price of all of the protein supplements to be outrageous because frankly, they were. We ended up just walking around and around the arena until he decided that he wanted to try out "rock climbing". A local company had brought a "wall" with them and anyone was welcome to scale it. Although it wasn't challenging to him, E climbed up since he has ants in his pants and enjoys any physical activity. 

Neither of us was sad to leave this event.


Later on in the evening, after a relaxing afternoon at home, we went to the Buddha Temple in Asa Sul. There was a kind of festival happening there (a few weekends in a row?) where there was food, music, shops, games, music for teenagers, and the temple was open so that we could visit and get a taste of Japan and the Buddhist religion. We went with a few of my co-workers. We waited in a long time to pay for our food, then another long line to pick up our food and drinks, and then we sat down next to the temple and enjoyed our food. I'd never eaten caramel bananas before but man was it delicious (not sure if that's Japanese food) and E and I shared a Yakisoba that was good. We bought some homemade soaps at one of the shops; one was made of maracuja (passion fruit) and smells delicious. In fact, the bathroom is starting to smell the same way so it's great. It was fun to do something different and to support the Japanese community in Brasilia.

Finally, to end my weekend, I had a very Brazilian breakfast with maracuja juice this morning, worked on lesson plans and organized myself for school tomorrow, and then had lunch with some of my co-workers at a nearby restaurant called El Paso. It was pretty good. I had to say that I wasn't expecting it to be very Mexican, but it was pretty close, especially with the decor and the Spanish background music. It was nice to sit back and relax, talk, and eat something different. The food was delicious, too.


Overall it was a good weekend. I got to try visit new places, try different food, and hang out with friends. Next weekend is the garbage pickup in the city and the following weekend we're going out of town to Goias so there's a lot to look forward to.

A quick look in my local grocery store

 Just a few things I noticed when I was at the grocery store Pão de Açúcar this afternoon...

This must be cat litter because it's called "pipi cat"

Sound good?

Since I'm not really a seafood fan, besides sushi, I can't get over the smell of these bad boys (bacalhau/cod fish)

I wanted to buy one but I just couldn't allow myself to spend that much on face wash

Feliz Dia dos Namorados

Happy Valentine's Day in Brazil!

E and I celebrated our first "dia dos namorados" in Manaus six years ago. It was exactly one week before I was going to leave Brazil to return to the U.S. after spending almost a year in the country.

I remember the date very well as we went out that morning for breakfast to spend our last weekend together. It was a Sunday. He bought me one of those cute red heart-shaped pillows with hands sticking out. It reads "Amo Você" and I still have it to this day.

Happy Valentine's Day/Dia dos Namorados to all of the lovers out there,

Marrying out (multicultural relationships)

I wrote a post recently about multiculturalism and mentioned that I had contributed to an article that was going to be published about Latinas marrying Non-Latinos. Now, while I'm not a Latina, and my husband IS a Latino, you may think that this does not include us, but in a way it does. We are in an interethnic and multicultural relationship (marriage). Consequently, the author of the article was interested in hearing my voice in regards to the issue of "marrying out" and included my input when publishing the article on NewLatina.net. 


I believe the article is interesting and informative, giving the viewpoints of people in multicultural relationships, and I think everyone should check it out (especially if you're in such a relationship). It's refreshing to read about the similarities that we have, regardless of our race, ethnicity, culture, or religion. And as the article states, "One thing is for sure:  our innate tendency is to move towards where the heart feels content, excited and peaceful…"


The article can be found at: Marrying Out: Why Latinas are Marrying Non-Latinos
Source: NewLatina (written by Angelica Perez-Litwin, PhD)

Thanks for visiting my blog and checking out the above links. as well as supporting communities like NewLatina and Multicultural Familia.


Take care,

My multicultural family

Our wedding day

I have a small multicultural family. Just me and my husband. Nevertheless, we are a multicultural unit. By "multi" + cultured I mean that we each have more than one culture. I'm an American of European descent. E is a Brazilian who is Native American and European. My native language is English and E's is of course Portuguese. We eat different foods, we grew up listening to music that the other had never heard of, and watching TV shows that the other will never get a chance to watch. Our traditions are diverse, our customs, our physical appearances, our likes and dislikes. And I know that E comes from an Amazonian (Brazilian) culture where my northeastern upbringing has greatly influenced the person that I am today. Neither of us had ever truly experienced the culture of the other and probably didn't really understand one another until we first slept in each other's childhood homes.

I got to thinking about multicultural relationships recently as I was introduced to New Latina, "a personal growth and lifestyle on-line magazine for women" by a good friend of mine from college. I realize that I am not a Latina, but I was asked by the founding editor and publisher to contribute to an article that she was writing about bicultural relationships (with a focus on Latinas and their "gringo" partners). I was asked a few questions via e-mail about my relationship and this started the ball rolling...in my head....and I started to think about this "bi/multi cultural" relationship/marriage that I'm a part of. And then, much like me, I started to read and read and read about other people's experiences and find it all so fascinating. 

By the way, once the article is published, I'll post the link here for everyone to read. I'm so proud.

Anyway, back to thinking about multiculturalism and how it's a part of my life....you know I realize that my husband is from a different culture than me, but yet it's not something that I dwell on. Hence, out of sight, out of mind. Wait, that doesn't make sense because it's not out of sight. But it is almost out of mind. I mean, I don't have daily thoughts about the fact that I'm living with someone who is not "culturally" like me. I'm just so used to E. Oh yeah, and did I mention that my mom told me last year that she thinks I'd be "bored if I had married an American"? Interesting.

What I want to say is that I don't feel huge cultural differences between my husband and me. Maybe it's because we met in Brazil so everyone was unlike me during the beginning - the foundation - of our relationship. I was used to being with someone who did not share the same customs as me, someone who didn't speak my language. Therefore, when we moved to the U.S. everything in our relationship seemed to me to be "normal". Plus, I'd dated foreigners in the past so I wasn't necessarily used to dating Americans. I didn't feel I was missing anything by not dating one. I actually noticed our cultural differences most when we went to New York to visit my family and stay with them for 2 weeks, especially when my mom whispered to ask me why my husbandbread for breakfast. But what is funny is that on our subsequent trips to NY there was more bread in my parent's house and yet my husband had picked up the habit of eating oatmeal for breakfast. I loved it!

Although after more than 6 years together we still are learning from each other and dealing with cultural differences, we're also used to being in a marriage with someone who is very unlike us in many ways, and I'd say, deal with it pretty well. I believe that living in each other's country has helped us better adapt, as well as having an open mind and an adventurous spirit. Oh yeah, and loving each other despite our differences. Isn't that the fun part anyway?

Ten things I'll miss about living in the U.S.

As I sift through my belongings and organize, discard, and box up books to leave the U.S. and emigrate to Brazil, I do a lot of thinking. I imagine what life will be like for E and me in Brasilia. Of course this makes me excited and anxious, but at the same time it gets me thinking about what I'm going to miss here. I know it's cliche (and maybe cheesy), but I read a quote the other day that said "don't count the days, make the days count". So, that is what I've decided to do. As I try to take advantage of what I have here, I've decided to compile a list of 10 things that I'll miss from the U.S. I'm not going to include family or friends on here because that is inevitable. I hope to add to the list as our departure date gets closer.

I will miss....

1. Giving my name to the hostess/host at a restaurant when asked who we're reserving a table for. I can't do this in Brazil because they look at me like I'm speaking Russian and then say "o que??" (what??) and then murder my name by pronouncing it like it's a dirty dirty word.

2. Speaking English. Now I am fluent in Portuguese. I speak it every day, and I actually enjoy speaking Portuguese (and am looking to getting back what I've lost from being away from Brazil for a few years). BUT, I'll miss not having to do any thinking when I go to a store or make a call (wait, I do live in the U.S. and as a result of outsourcing I speak to Indians when I have a problem with my laptop, but that's beside the point). Regardless of the fact that I'll be teaching in English, I'll miss speaking English to native English speakers everywhere I go. It's like I'm looking forward to speaking Portuguese, but at the same time I'll miss speaking English. Make sense?

3. Bubble Tea. Need I say more?
For those of you who have never had it, you're missing out. Big time. (see picture)

Bubble Tea

4. Having my own car. Although I'd prefer it if we were a one-car family, it is very convenient to have your own car. (We'll probably just have one car in Brazil).

5. MTV. I love MTV and all of the reality shows they play. For instance, I could watch episodes of "Jersey Shore" and "Teen Mom" again and again, regardless of how trashy they are or how much my husband complains. Brazil's MTV is b-o-r-i-n-g.

6. Shopping malls. Not that I shop that much, but I like the outlets and sales and variety of the stores I go to. I also like that no one bothers me when I walk into one.

7. The radio. I guess this kind of goes along with number 2. I'll miss listening to the radio programs that make me laugh on my way to work. In English. My culture. Jokes that only Americans would understand. The prank phone calls.

8. Redbox. Does anything like this exist in Brazil? (I haven't been there in 4 years so I hope that I'm not too off on what I'll miss from not being in the U.S.).

9. Black Americans. I work at a "black school", my (step) dad is black, and I have amazing co-workers and friends that are black.  I'll miss working with my black co-workers, their culture, their jokes,.... I haven't come across or met many black Americans all the years that I was in Latin America and I always missed them.

10. My phone plan. I'll miss my seemingly unlimited minutes and my unlimited text messages. Cell phones in Brazil are expensive (though so is my iPhone plan) and each minute is precious. I guess what I will really be missing then are my (animated) text messages.

When to KISS

I first went to Latin America in 1999. I went to Bolivia, to be exact. That is where I was initially introduced to the "cheek kiss" greeting. By this I mean the kiss, or kisses, that people give to one another when they meet up; this "cheek kiss" is much like the handshake in America, or the hug in Haiti. It is a greeting that millions of people all over South America (and well, the world) are most familiar with. But to us, the "gringos", it can be awkward.

I mean, do you kiss each time you see the person? For instance, I visited some good friends this afternoon and since they're from South America and they know of my cultural knowledge (AKA time spent abroad), we always kiss as a greeting. I'm comfortable, meaning I'm totally ok and used to it, with this and have no problems. I don't even mind kissing them goodbye. The issue is that I don't think I'm a natural. I guess since I know that the kiss goodbye is coming that maybe I over think it and when I'm leaving then I have to lean in and sometimes I just think about it too much. I just feel like I do it wrong, like it's forced. I'm not uncomfortable, I'm just awkward (or so I think - no one has ever told me differently).

Anyway, I digress. So I run into these friends a few hours later at our local supermarket and to greet me my friend kisses me again. (I can't remember if she kissed me goodbye). But I thought that we didn't need to do that since we'd already greeted each other with a kiss a few hours before at her house. This leaves me wondering, when exactly do we kiss? Is there a specific place on the cheek to kiss so as not to accidentally kiss on the neck or too close to the mouth? How many times do you kiss? I know in the case of Brazil, and possibly in certain European countries, it depends on the region or country. And then in my experience today, do you kiss if you see each other more than once in a day? All of this can be very confusing to a handshaking, family-hugging American girl.

Moving Abroad? Keep this in mind

Stages Of Cultural Adaptation

Learning a new language and adapting to a new culture are challenges faced by the English Language learners in U. S. schools [or anyone who moves abroad]. The literature indicates that individuals experience distinct stages in the process of adapting to a different culture (Brown, 1995); however, not all persons advance through the stages in the same manner (Diaz-Rico & Weed, 1995).

These stages are characterized by typical behaviors and emotions, and they range from elation, hyperactivity, anxiety and initial disorientation to some degree of adaptation. The intensity of these emotional responses in school will vary depending on several factors such as a welcoming class and school environment, and a teacher that is culturally responsive. If students are not given adequate support and/or their home culture is not recognized and valued in the classroom, they may experience personal challenges in the acculturation process.

Euphoria (Initial Contact)

This is the "honeymoon" period in which the individual is enamored by new customs, food, sights and the newness of the new and different culture.

Culture Shock

At this stage, individuals begin to notice cultural differences and feel deprived of things familiar to their culture of origin. The awareness of such differences may be disorienting to the individual.This stage usually lasts from several weeks to several months.

Anomie

This is a stage of gradual recovery of equilibrium and the acknowledgment of the differences of both cultures. This is also referred to as culture stress.

Adaptation: Assimilation or Acculturation

Students [or exats] move into one of two directions--assimilation or acculturation (Wilson-Portuondo, 2003).

Acculturation - individuals are able to find value and meaning in both cultures and identify with both.

Assimilation: The student’s home cultural values and beliefs are replaced by the new culture, leaving behind the parents’ culture for example . . .

Source: ELL Assessment for Linguistic Differences vs. Learning Disabilities

I can't wait to have a maid

You know I tell E all the time that one of the reasons I want to move back to Brazil is to have a maid (or rather a housekeeper/cook). This is not entirely true, of course, but there is a reason I say it. Although he doesn't say much, as he is a man of few words, I know he's thinking "yes, me too".

Now I don't know how (in)expensive it is to hire someone in Brasília to help you out around the house a couple of times a week, but it is an investment I am willing to make. I should start out by saying that I do prefer the word "secretaria" (secretary) to maid, but I think it's just easier to say the latter since it is not common to have a maid (for lack of a better word) in the United States and that's the word we know. In Manaus, most of my friends and students referred to their maids as their "secretaries" and I thought that that was appropriate. I mean, let's be honest, that's what they were. Now I don't want, or need, to have someone live with me (never!) or even to come to the house every day. We're only two people; we don't make that much of a mess. But I have a husband who loves to eat Brazilian food and who better to cook it than a Brazilian woman? Also, I'd LOVE to have help cleaning, so that is what I look forward to more than anything.

Now as far as maids go in the U.S., I only knew of one man  when I was growing up who had a housekeeper visit his house weekly to help clean up, but he had money. Apart from him, I had never met people with maids until I moved to South America. Everyone had one or two there. One of the families that I lived with in Bolivia had two live-in maids. I didn't even have to make my bed or clear the table. Now I do see a lot of families in Florida with housekeepers since there are a number of women who have cleaning companies and/or work as housekeepers to help support themselves. It is actually less expensive at this time to hire a maid in central Florida because of all of the competition.


Anyway, back to my excitement.....I'm really looking forward to hiring a woman to come to my house on a weekly basis to cook and (help us) clean. I mean, I've seriously considered hiring someone to help me on a monthly basis now, or at least during the week of my birthday, but it hasn't happened - and therefore probably won't before we move. I was never too sure I wanted to part with whatever money we would be charged in the event of hiring a maid.

But now just thinking that housekeepers/cooks are affordable, and quite frankly common, in Brazil makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. Now E can have all the rice and beans that he wants - and I can pay to have my bathroom cleaned.