Aww rats, that entire first paragraph was the most hypocritical thing ever..It was a boring unnecessary segment about how I can't stand boring and unnecessary segments...balls. Let's get into some Trox Talk. In case any of you Pittsburghers missed it, I said that if the Green Bay Packers lost the Super Bowl, I would issue a formal letter of apology to your city, your team, and it's fan. Kiss my ass. Not gonna happen. I'm also not here to gloat either, even though I did say that the Packers were going to win the Super Bowl waaaay back around week 1 of this NFL season. Of course, I said it would be against the Colts...but that doesn't make me look smarter than the rest of you, so strike it from your memory. I will say that this years Super Bowl was a helluva game and the better team won.
If you're one of those readers that sends emails saying, "you talk too much about sports" (I hate you, and welcome back) then this next little section can be for you. I went back and found you what I considered to be the most noteworthy Super Bowl commercials from this year. Odds are that's the only reason some of you watched the game, since the ads are usually a pretty big deal. I'll give you my take on them (good and bad) just in case you are old and fell asleep, or you got too "to'up from the flo'up" and don't remember much about Sunday. Also, I know that most Steeler fans were kneeling over a toilet by about half time. Therefore, in the interest of filling you in on what you may have missed, I give you the Trox Talk Super Bowl Ad Awards...
Best Moment..
This is more or less an award for the 1 second clip from an SB ad that impacted me the most. It's no secret to anyone that I absolutely refuse to drink Bud Light. I mean if it's free, or I'm at a sponsored even, I'll do as the Romans do, but I won't enjoy it. That said, Buweiser in general never fails to come up with creative advertising, especially during the Super Bowl, but they have been a little weak for the past couple of years and I felt like this was the moment when they returned to the front of the line. This one actually made me crack up when the dog who was working the grill gnarrs at his food being criticized.
Worst
Will this whore never go away? Trox Talk has been up for about a month, and I have made $0.00 for my efforts to provide quality content, emotional connection, or detailed analysis of any subject. Yet, I still feel, I have accomplished more professionally since January 4th than Kim Kardashian and her entire gaggle of brain dead sisters. Stop and think about it.. What has she ever done?! Hump Reggie Bush? I'm going to say this, and I'll probably take some heat for it..If you watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians and it's not because someone is forcing you to, I don't want you to read Trox Talk. It's just not for you. I don't mean to alienate anyone, or make anyone feel unwelcome, but you have got to be shitting me if you think that show is remotely entertaining. This ad may have even furthered my disdain for Double-K. Couldn't they find someone hot? And of course, she'd be in a sweat covered ad with slutty innuendo about nailing her personal trainer. Did she run out of real athletes? The bottom line is, the shoes are stupid and Double-K's legs are harder to get closed than the Jon Benet Ramsey case.
WTF?
OK. Before you say anything, this ad was actually pretty good. The opening message was powerful, it was well written, and I think it served as a nice little counter-punch for the city of Detroit, but I was more than a little confused by it. There were so many questions racing through my head! Why is there a figure skater? What's with the Wizard of Oz reference to the emerald city? Is this 8 Mile II? Please, God, be 8 Mile II! Didn't a claymation Eminem literally just tell us not 20 minutes ago in an ice tea commercial, that he in fact, does NOT do commercials?! Eventually the dizziness subsided and I just took it for what it was worth, but it was a mind-job at first glance.
Pure Nostalgia
If you didn't think this ad was cool, then you are wrong. the golden age of television returned for :58 seconds to revisit our hearts once more. Did you recognize every show? Fonzi in the Rodgers jersey hitting the TV struck a chord. Remember when that was the only way you got reception?! (Stupid bunny ears..) The Golden Girls, Brady Bunch, and Cheers were all sights for sore eyes. Did the Carolina Panthers even exist when ALF was still on the air? He did love to eat cats... When was the last time you heard Steven Q. Urkel get nice with a "Did I do thaaat?" I also, loved how the back of Peter Griffin's New England Patriots jersey said "Hi Tom" which was a reference to an episode where Peter played for the Pats with Brady, but then was traded to the London Silly Nannies.
There were a few other ads of note. Audi continued to pile on Mercedes while Mercedes continued to ignore them. They went out and got Sean Puff Diddy Daddy Combs to pimp their whips for them while hammering away at the history of the Benz because they still don't see Audi as competition. Benz basically said, "Your brand of luxury is for wannabe hot shots and stockbrokers. Puffy drives our 'ish'! Stand down Audi. You'd think they would have learned a lesson from this viral photo from a couple of years back... 
While, I did enjoy the Doritos ad where the dog pounced on his master through the sliding glass door, I didn't want 2 cute dog videos in one edition of Trox Talk because I'll lose street cred. It was cool to see Roseanne in the Snickers ad because I legitimately thought she was dead..That's not a "ha ha! Your career is over" joke. In fact, people were laughing at me because I didn't realize Rosanne was still among the living. I always dig the E*Trade baby ads, but I'm pretty sure they swapped out the kid from last year for a new model because he is 10 years old now. They grow up so fast.... This little guy will be 40 next week.
BEST!
Someday soon, I will do an entire Trox Talk post about why I can't stand the hardcore fans of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Comi-Con, cosplay, and the Force. When that day comes, you will look back at the Trox Talk Super Bowl Ad Awards, and call me two-faced, doubletalkin' jive-turkey. This ad was my favorite, bar none. It appeals to the masses, gives you a little bit of a warm fuzzy feeling, and it was hilarious. I felt so sorry for this poor little geek by the time his dad fired up the remote start that I actually shouted "YES!!"
That about wraps up the TTSBAA's. Did I leave anything important out? I hope you guys enjoyed my thoughts. Stop back in a couple days if you're in the mood for some old school video game reminiscing. Also, I will do my first ever Trox Talk: Awful Movie Review at a reader's request. Always keep in mind that you are free to submit comments at the bottom of the post (my comments aren't filtered for approval, if you call me twat down there I won't do a thing to stop you) or follow me on twitter @TroxTalk. I have had a few people email me with topics they'd like to see discussed on Trox Talk. I love feedback! If you want to see something on here, there is no way for me to know if you don't speak up. Holler at yer boy!
Warmest Regards,
Trox
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