Rock Talk Part 2: Jimmy Eat Dick

        Part 1 of this series was sort of an intro to my rock concert days. In the years that followed, my pals and I had some pretty interesting run-ins with different band members and people from the music world...Part 2 and beyond will be dedicated to the tales of just a few of these encounters. Nice segue huh?

Ferrari also has a nice Segway...Sorry I had to.

          Do you like the band Jimmy Eat World? Skip Part 2. It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. I was totally turned off by a conversation I witnessed with them, and you might be too. As the band was picking up steam in 2001 they went on a small venues tour that landed them and myself once again in Clifton near the University of Cincinnati. They had caught fire after some controversy regarding the title of their latest album "Bleed American" which they had released a few months before the 9/11 attacks. They were all over the news after they changed the albums name, and made it self-titled instead. (I still have the original release of Bleed American. It's worthless.) The fear was that people wouldn't buy the record if they misinterpreted it's title because the entire country was in a paranoid patriotic frenzy at the time. I think if Toby Keith had an album called Bleed American, all the hilljacks would probably eat it up..but that's different....

Freedom isn't free.

       I was a HUGE fan of J.E.W. (another reason these guys were obviously NOT Muslim terrorists) and I was absolutely delighted when my friend Andy and I walked in to a local bar and grill for a pre-show dinner and drinks only to find our current favorite band sitting together at a booth in the corner. Imagine, you walk in an almost empty restaurant that you've been in a thousand times, and it just so happens that the band, who's sold out concert you have been bragging about getting to see for months, is sitting right there splitting a vegetarian pizza! Pretty kick ass right?! After giggling like giddy school girls for a few minutes we decided we would just go say "what's up" to the guys, and try no to disturb their meal too much. We had heard that Jim Atkins, the front man, could be a bit irritable at times.
     
The conversation went something like this:

                Andy: Hey! Are you guys Jimmy Eat World?! I'm Andy! (he was stoked.)
                Jim: Yep, that's us. Did you make that shirt? Funny. (Andy liked to screen print his own shirts with little quips on them. This one said "Ben Affleck is a weiner." Jim was kinda smug about it, rolled his eyes some, didn't smile, but it was still cool he noticed.)
                Andy: Heck yeah man! Do you want it?! You could wear it on stage! We'll be at the show later!!
                Jim: That's ok.....(I could tell he was starting to get annoyed, so I chimed in to save the day!)
                Me: Great, man. Welp, we just wanted to say "hi" and maybe buy you guys a round. We didn't mean to impose.We'll catch you at the show.
                Jim: (Half dead with boredom and thoroughly disinterested with my offering of beer and potential merch money) Later...

His other ideas included Vin Diesel shops at Target. Matt Damon chews gum. And Trox can't believe he still remembers these damn shirts.

      Now at this point, I totally see his side of all this. He was trying to eat and didn't want to be bothered by two little fan boys who clearly had no clue as to the vast reaches and depth of his genius mind. I get it. Rockstars are just wired different. No blood, no foul. I wasn't going to let it ruin the show for me. I spent my hard earned Circuit City money on his music not his charming personality. He didn't owe me a thing. I wasn't bothered by it at all until about 30 seconds later...
      A down-on-his-luck, disparaged little kid walked up to the table as we were walking away. His hair was greasy and dyed black. He was wearing girly jeans and a vintage Smiths t-shirt. Basically, he was super-emo before I even knew that emo existed. J.E.W. completely ignored him at first..

                 Emo: Hello, Mr. Atkins. Sorry to interrupt your meal. (Even though you are a celebrity and in        Trox's humble opinion it comes with the f'n territory and you should try not to be a dick.)

                 Jim: Full on brutal eye roll.

                 Emo: I just wanted to say that you are inspiration to me. I was going through one of the hardest times in my life. I had just lost my mother. I went into a deep depression. My friends all abandoned me because they didn't want to deal with what I was going through. I contemplated suicide and I even attempted it once, but my sister found me in the bathroom and called 911. I wanted to go on, but I felt like I just couldn't anymore...Then my sister let me borrow a copy of your album "Clarity". It opened my eyes and changed my life forever, and I wanted to let you know that I think you are the greatest band ever for the way your music has helped me start my life again. (His eyes welled up. This wasn't for attention. He meant every word of it. I could tell.)

                 Jim: pausing for what seemed like an hour Thanks...I guess...pfft...(giving his bandmates a look like 'can you believe this guy'? Then they all held back for a second, but proceeded to bust out laughing in the boys face and then he walked away more let down than I've ever seen a person. His eyes didn't leave the floor.)

      I saw Andy's face turn red as he doubled his fist and started to lunge himself back toward the J.E.W. table. I grabbed his arm and stopped him. I don't know that he would've hit 'Mr. Atkins', but I knew I wasn't going to wait to find out. The band stood in unison as and barked, "You are a horrible person! That was the shittiest thing I have ever seen! That kid just poured his heart out and threw it back in his face!" Andy was usually a very soft spoken guy. I probably looked as surprised as they did to see his reaction. I had to get his back though. After all, as loud as he was being in public, and as crazy as the look in his eyes was while I pulled him away, he was right. No one in the group responded and the only thing I could think to say as we tossed money on our table and walked out the door wasn't clever at all. Wishing I had something better I proclaimed, "Jimmy Eat World? More like Jimmy Eat Dick!"
      We still ended up still going to the show once I calmed Andy down. We stayed through the whole thing despite the bar incident. They even saw us in the crowd and point out the Affleck shirt again as if they'd never seen it before...Weird...We had waited forever for the show, and the opening bands were pretty decent. We figured if we didn't stick around, then the terrorists would win.

Catch ya next time for Rock Talk: Part 3