Rock Talk Part 1: Baptism by Fire

       I have been to about a bajillion rock shows in my lifetime. Literally...a bajillion. I love music in all forms excluding country. I guess I'm just not mature enough to really absorb it yet.... I have seen every sort of live music spectacle from Slayer to a Broadway production of Rent. I had a pretty surreal experience at an amazing show just the other night that I want to share with you guys, but it's going to require a bit of back story, so this post will be split up some to make it more enjoyable. It's time for you to join me on a journey of both pain and nostalgia. Get jacked for some Rock Talk on Trox Talk!
        I started having my Gram drop me off at shows for local high school bands when I was about 13 or 14. Since I didn't have much musical talent myself, I was always awestruck by kids close to my age who could shred guitar or go nuts some drums. At that age my friends and I mostly just drank ginger ale and ate pretzel knots at basement shows. My very first real rock show was when I went to see Orgy on tour with Crazytown (pre-shitty "Butterfly" song) sometime in '99-'00 at Bogart's in Cincinnati. They were hot off the first ever Family Values tour, which is a live album that I still queue up on the iPod to this day. Torrent that one if you don't have it. Mind you, this was long before Bogart's became the vile cesspool that it is today. My boys and I stood in the back and tried not to be noticed. We barely even nodded our heads to the beat. I still have that ticket stub somewhere, not because the show was all that great, because I remember it as the start of something wonderful...

Anyone else remember this album cover? It was EVERYWHERE!

         My first good rock show was a few months later, on June 21st, 2000. It was MTV's Return of the Rock Tour featuring the bands Staind, P.O.D., Dope, and Crazytown.. Alright alright alright.. at this point I'm going to have to do some explaining as to why Crazytown was featured in both of my first 2 concerts. I'm not going to pretend I didn't like them. People who denounce their youth and pretend that anyone was actually 'cool' back then are delusional. In short, Crazytown was loud, had tats and piercings, used tons of swear words, and were constantly surrounded by half naked mud wrestling babes! Who can't get with that?! Plus, my young ears still weren't keen enough to recognize true talent in music just yet. I thought this song was the most badass thing ever at 16...

         I digress...I was at that particular show to catch P.O.D. At that time they were a virtually-unheard-of rap metal band who marketed themselves as a straight-edge, straight laced, band of Christian brothers whose primary objective was to spread the teachings of God. Today they still have the same beliefs, but their fan base has gotten so big they chose not to estrange anyone by pushing their beliefs on them. (Maybe someday when my fan base is big enough I'll make peace with Oprah, and Double-K..wouldn't want anyone to feel left out...) Even their name, P.O.D., stands for Payable on Death and is a reference to a persons sins in life ultimately leading to how they will spend eternity. The symbol on all of their album covers represents the Holy Trinity and is also featured on the cover of the New King James version of the bible. With all the religious "turn he other cheek", "the meek shall inherit the earth", and "do unto others" mumbo jumbo that book has in it, I figured I should be pretty safe. If I came into harms way for whatever reason, God, in all his glory, would protect me right? Someone should have told me that God forgot about Bogart's a long time ago....

Not King James.

         Regardless, a kid in my art class (Nic Coffey if you need him) kept telling me all about how he was tight with the band and that if I went to the show with him we'd get in for free and get to hang out with the band..He went on and on about it for weeks on end, and I didn't believe a word of it. I agreed to go, but I basically went to the concert with the intentions of making Nic look like an asshole in front of Mr. Sheppard's entire beginning drawing class the following week. This diabolical ploy was a 100% failure! In fact, upon arrival, I immediately owed him an apology. When we got to the show we walked right in. I don't recall, but I'm pretty sure we didn't even have tickets. Didn't get I.D.'ed at the door either. During P.O.D.'s set they stopped right in the middle of a song to let the crowd know that their boy, Nic was in the pit so everyone had better watch out! Crow is a dish best served hot.
         One particular group of P.O.D.'s fans referred to themselves as Jah Warriors. Sounds pretty pussy right? WRONG! They were all 6'18" tall and were 432lbs rock solid skin heads with tribal tattoos. I hadn't hit my growth spurt yet, so naturally, I was terrified of these gladiators. They obviously smelled my fear and proceeded to beat the living piss out of me in my very first mosh pit experience. The set was about 12 songs in length. It was a bloodbath. A baptism by fire welcomed me with open arms to the world of rock-n-roll. During my 'initiation' I got headed-butted in the face (not by accident) and then kneed in the stomach hard enough to make me vomit on some unfortunate girl's back...Wherever you are now, pukeskank, I owe you an apology too. Pride would not let me leave the pit no matter how many teeth I'd lost, and in the end Sonny, the lead singer, gave me props for taking my licks. "Check out that crazy bloody dude! You having a good time?? *thumbs up* Awesome man!" We eventually hung out with P.O.D. and the Warriors outside for a couple of hours once the show ended. They skated some and we talked about music, touring, Jesus, and some other random topics. In my typical, angsty, and insecure adolescence I felt truly accepted by them. It might seem lame now, but I belonged with those neanderthals. My little ego grew three sizes that day. I wouldn't learn until later that not all bands and their fans were as cool as those guys..

This is one of the Warriors I met at the show. His name is Tom. We still talk.

         Before you cast too much judgment just remember that I was just a kid trying to figure things out. Like The Wonder Years except Fred Savage is soft and Daniel Stern doesn't live inside my brain..Plus, I happen to know that my horrible taste back that pales in comparison to those of you who can't wait for the next new episode of Jersey Shore..You know who you are! Anyway, my taste in music changed over time. Less rap metal and trendy TRL type stuff. More alternative, punk, and ska. Over the next few years I had some great times with my friends going to see all kinds of crazy rock shows. If I could name them all I'd say the count has to be around at least a couple hundred live shows total. I've seen Incubus, 311, Dave Matthews, and Snoop Dogg all multiple times, and I don't even get baked. (Stoner voice) "I just dig the jams, man." I've been to Warped Tour, and Cincy Punkfest a bunch of times too. Point being, I'm no stranger to how weird a concert can get now, and my crew and I have had some wild times to say the least. I somehow always manage to end up in the most awkward situations. Sometimes involving the bands we go to check out...

To Be Continued....

And that, kids, is what we in the biz call a 'Cliffhanger'. Google it. Did Google say that my fingers are tired and I don't want you to have to spend your entire lunch hour reading Trox Talk? Your well-being comes first. We'll save Part 2 for next time.